♥ SHE CONFESS..♥
Furz year raya without AZUAN. Though we've NEVER celebrate raye togeda, bt we do seek for each other's forgiveness on malam raya. I remember how bad i suffered last year. He's in camp. & we are nt in talking terms.


We did seek forgiveness, though. Furz year without being hys. I dont noe if im strong enuf to hold my tears on mlm raye. We shall see~ . Yesterday, aft buke mit FFT skejap. Lepak.


An send me lagu raye. When i reach home, tgh mendak, dgr laa lagu2 raye yg an send. Im nt strong enuf to hold on to my tears. It flowS lyk running-tap-water. I recall those tym when our love was 3 mths old, if im not wrong.


He dedicated a raye song from WARNA for me & family. At dhat tym me & mama tgh uat chocolate chips. I remembered it was 1.14am exact. Oh gosh, i miss those tyms.


He wud kip me accompanied till sahur. & slip otf. How sweet cud he be. Bt as tym passed, he chged. Well, baru2 mataer, kentot pun wangi dok! Hais~


Why cant happiness last.? Why cant i hold on? Why cant he live with my flaws. I can, why cant he? Sometimes, i wonder, why things doesnt hapen e way we wanted?


Where did i or he go wrong? Who's at fault. My problem is, i cant spend tym with hym e way he wanted. Morning, he's at work. Night, he ask me out. & e prob is, i cant. Wan, u are dating 'anak dara' here ok. & im e only girl in family.


& e curfew is quite tight. So, am i at fault ? I told hym to mit my parents,SO THAT MY PARENTS WOULD GIVE US THEIR BLESSING. TAPI DIE MALU. Its not that i ask hym to meet my parents , naked whatt. Ape yg nak malu. Mama & papa noes hym. Bt not face-to-face.


I really want our love to last longer. Bt it didnt. Allah wants it dis way. Pasrah~ Sometyms, i feel so lonely without someone i love & gets e same in return whom i can call BOYFRIEND.


DO EVERY GIRL NEEDS DHEM ? THE BOYS? IDK, BT I DO NEED ONE, BUT THE ONE WHO UNDERSTAND ME, TRUST ME, HAV FAITH IN ME, ACCEPTS ME FLAWS & ALL.


I WUDNT WANT TO RUSH INTO A RELATIONSHIP, JUST BECAUSE IM LOVE SICK. ITS A BIG NO-NO. WE SHUDNT RUSH. IT'LL COME NATURALLY. ITS A MATTER OF TIME.


8 MONTH OF SINGLE LIFE, OH GOSH, IT HURTS WHEN YOU SEE COUPLE TOGEDA. & WE HAV 2 IN FFT. I DONT ENVY DHEM, I JUST MISSED E TYMS I SPENT WITH THE PAST BOYF. THE WAY THEY DID.


AZUAN. AZUAN. AZUAN. IT'S STIL HYS NAME WHEN MY HEART BEATS. HE'S MY LONGEST RELATIONSHIP, THATS E REASON IM NOT OVER HYM. 2 YEARS 5 MONTHS 8 DAYS.


E MOMENT I SAW HYM WITH A FEMALE PILLON, MY HEART STOP BEATING. SERIOUSLY, MY BOYF'S WITH A WOMAN ON HYS BIKE+DHAT WOMAN USE E HELMET WHICH SHUD ONLY PLACE ON MY HEAD! WTFARK?! ITS MINE!


SHE HUGS MY BOYF LYK NOBODY-BUSINESS! OWHMAIGOWD! IT HURT HELL MUCH! E GUY I HOLD ON TO, IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE RIGHT INFRONT OF MY TWO EYE BALL! FIL LYK KILLING BOTH HYM & HER!


IF ONLY KILLING ISNT AGAINST DHA LAW, I WOULD HAV KILLED THOSE DUMBASS'ES WHO'VE HURT ME OR MY FAMILY, SERIOUS DOG SHIT! BT COMEON LA GURL LIVE UR REALITY WORLD. HAA~


AFT MONTHS, ONLY DHEN HE CLAIM THAT, DHA STUPIID PILLON WAS HYS OLD FRIEND. I BELIEVE HIM?? NAH~ ANW, I DONT CARE WHOEVER SHE WAS. AT THAT POINT, ALL I NEED WAS EXPLAINATION.


BT HE DINT. A TOTAL SILENCE FRM HYM SINCE THAT DAY TILL LYK AFT 3 MONTH, I GUESS. IF ONLY HE EXPLAINED IT EARLIER WE WUD BE 3 YEARS OLD NOW. BT NVM, ITS WRITTEN.


THERE THIS SAYING,'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.' I TOTALLY AGREE. ENUF OF DUMB, STUPID, SHITTY LOVE CAN?~


We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.


PHEWW~ IM DONE BLOGGING.


Ps: i miss my ex-boyf, AZUAN.

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